have u ever feel what it is like to be a puppet? to follow what others have decide even when it comes to your future? even when it comes to your feeling? have u ever feel what it is like when your right have been denied? i was upset. disappointed. stress. what more, i was sad. terribly sad.
all this while, i tought i've grown big enough to be a matured girl. to explore the world on my own and to complete my life with whatnot. i have friends and i involved myself in a relationship called FRIENDSHIP. is it a sin to be there with them? all this fuss had forced me to think that one day, i will feel that i had done enough time with my family... this whole situation had made me think that one day i should not be with my family anymore. they had taken my precious time... i felt betrayed... what i want is my own time... with friends... not being with someone who acts like a dictator, controlling me to do this and that and worst, i don't want to be with someone who never experience the thrill of a friendship. someone who only knew the meaning of a friend through a dictionary... or someone who never had real friends... their decision had made me a sinful daughter... i feel hatred. i feel sick to even talk with them.... i cried enough. seeing others going free like a butterfly, smashed my heart into pieces....
it's hard to be the eldest and it's harder to be a daughter... i am not devoted. but it wasn't me who sparked the fire... to those who have brothers and sisters, do appreciate what they've done... i
t's hard you know, to carry all the endeavour, and to be forced to follow others who claimed they knew better than us... i wish they knew we are living in a whole new world not anymore in the late 70's...
t's hard you know, to carry all the endeavour, and to be forced to follow others who claimed they knew better than us... i wish they knew we are living in a whole new world not anymore in the late 70's...i don't know if i have enough strength to face future days.... i'm not fired up anymore...
i followed because they paid for me. i followed because i've committed enough sin. i followed because they are my parents. i don't know if i can love them like i loved them yesterday....
i wish MCR is here, to sing them, "i don't love you, like i did yesterday....."
Tun, (referring to Dr M) if i can shout like u did, when your words were not heard, i would shout I JUST NEED A SPACE FOR MYSELF. A SPACE WHERE I CAN DETERMINE WHO'S IN AND WHO'S OUT... That's all...
Salam....
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