The Twilight Saga

what damage have their done? OMG!! i'm soooo into them lately.... yea, i know it's kinda a bit late for me to catch up Twilight (since everybody else had faver them like looooong time ago), but it's never too late to admit that Edward's a new Hollywood hottie! he's like a prince from a fairy tale, what? sounds funny he? OMG! what damage have their done to me!

sometimes, you don't have to wait til the dawn is broken...

 

he is sooooo, emh... you tell me, fatherly??

i prefer them to have a son in the first place, so that the "hotie" population will one day, expand...

haha, nonsense!

btw, renesmee cullen is still adorable!

and yup, i am sooooo into twilight, no doubt!

hehe.salam.

UTP

i couldn't lie. the camp was great. yeah, fantastic. i'm not being sarcasism. it's true.

yap. so here i was, with ain, right in front of the chancellor's hall.... and next to the amazing library.... wow, this was our last day, and to be accurate, this pic was taken few seconds before we left....

 
 

and this was me, with both my parents. dad as usual, excited, but more relaxed... i like him most, in cosy mood like this... and mum, yeah, she's a busy woman, no doubt.

(at the back, standing beautifully in the buttery sun is, Masjid An-Nur, UTP)

and this was me, again, exactly a few minutes after finishing my penalty - THE INTERVIEW.. i was absolutely relieved, feeling even happier than i was when SPM ended... trust me, it's a scary adrenaline experince!hey dad, i wore cotton cloth, as you wished! =)

ahah... this was captured on my second night there, which means, everybody else first night!

the hall was damn huge... i was mesmerized! sounds "jakun".... haha!

well, these are just pictures.tiny pieces of memories i collected there... i'll tell more. i got a lot to blurb out! haha! too tired right now. hey, it's almost 4 in the morning! ooh, i remembered Gwen Stefani!

.Salam.

trust me; parents, they knew better

few days earlier, i was having what you can say, a stormy mood. having a little bit of tantrum, here and there...well, due to the decision made by others...! unfortunately for me, ( i am fortunate actly) they were right....

you know, the decision made by the elderly would always be right... and this came to a point where i realized that somehow, i had to bow to whatever decision they'd put for me, despite the horrible impression of the decision itself. to cut the short story shorter, i'll just say their decision of sending me to the Educamp, by themselves is worth a benefit. because..... all of my friends(except one) who at first, agreed to join the camp,pull themselves out of it. drastically, a few moments after they had bought the bus tickets. ha, so after this, never say no to your mother's instinct.... mum's always right... well, my mom, she knew it from the beginning that something was not right with our plan, it was just, she couldn't scrabble it out... so, that's why she dragged me out of the bus-travelling plan in the first place... and i couldn't denied it that i was after all, feeling quite lucky and excited as one of my fellow will be going with me...! *grin*

and for my friends' drastic decision, it was not because they were baggart-dirty friends... no,no,no! but it was what i called a breaking news, that made us knew, we (parents basically) need to afford at least 15,ooo bugs if we are to study in the first intake.... wow, that's surely not a tiny piece of money they want... yeah, because, we were told there'll be no SCHOLARSHIP for the first intake gigs... wow, these days, a need is no more a need, instead, a need is now a term, which they probably missed it out during meeting, i can say...

huh, where got free thing in this world, rite? well, still i decided to go. because i am determined, to dug out as many knowledge as possible from the camp, esp during the interview... it's vital you know, since i'm living in a tough battle zone... i am not really into engineering. that's the main reason, i told ya! yup, i was looking forward to be a doc. O&G maybe... derma, or even paediatric.. hey, a dietician is not that bad... i can give a second thought...

after all those complicated events, dad is still acting cold at me.... but, we speak. it's not that bad though.... it's just, i miss him.... yeah, we are good friends, with him not in a good mood with me, i guess i feel a little bit lonely.... he used to pamper me, (i'm his official only princess, to make it clear..=P ), i miss his jokes, i miss him criticizing Chelsea and i miss making him a nice hot coffee...

dad, if only you can hear me, i just want you to know, i realized my mistakes, and hereby wanted very badly to apologize... now that i've learnt, i am 200% confident that your affectionate will never ever change no matter what, so do i...

and i believe in Allah for what He gave, neither good or bad will always have something in return...

Salam

decision made by others

THIS IS ACTUALLY THE CONTINUITY OF MY FORMER BLOG, WHICH WAS AT FRIENDSTER BLOG.

have u ever feel what it is like to be a puppet? to follow what others have decide even when it comes to your future? even when it comes to your feeling? have u ever feel what it is like when your right have been denied? i was upset. disappointed. stress. what more, i was sad. terribly sad.

all this while, i tought i've grown big enough to be a matured girl. to explore the world on my own and to complete my life with whatnot. i have friends and i involved myself in a relationship called FRIENDSHIP. is it a sin to be there with them? all this fuss had forced me to think that one day, i will feel that i had done enough time with my family... this whole situation had made me think that one day i should not be with my family anymore. they had taken my precious time... i felt betrayed... what i want is my own time... with friends... not being with someone who acts like a dictator, controlling me to do this and that and worst, i don't want to be with someone who never experience the thrill of a friendship. someone who only knew the meaning of a friend through a dictionary... or someone who never had real friends... their decision had made me a sinful daughter... i feel hatred. i feel sick to even talk with them.... i cried enough. seeing others going free like a butterfly, smashed my heart into pieces....

it's hard to be the eldest and it's harder to be a daughter... i am not devoted. but it wasn't me who sparked the fire... to those who have brothers and sisters, do appreciate what they've done... it's hard you know, to carry all the endeavour, and to be forced to follow others who claimed they knew better than us... i wish they knew we are living in a whole new world not anymore in the late 70's...

i don't know if i have enough strength to face future days.... i'm not fired up anymore...

i followed because they paid for me. i followed because i've committed enough sin. i followed because they are my parents. i don't know if i can love them like i loved them yesterday....

i wish MCR is here, to sing them, "i don't love you, like i did yesterday....."

Tun, (referring to Dr M) if i can shout like u did, when your words were not heard, i would shout I JUST NEED A SPACE FOR MYSELF. A SPACE WHERE I CAN DETERMINE WHO'S IN AND WHO'S OUT... That's all...

Salam....