the real meaning of "rindu"

salam.

haaa, jiwang tak tajuk post ni? haha. actually rindu ni bukan rindu yang cintan cintan tuhh. so shut up your mind if you expect me to talk about lovey dovey thingy. heee. sebenarnya i would like to talk about my first year of study dan jugak this 4 months loooooooooong break. i know budak budak utp dah cuti for like two weeks or more. but for me, cut off one week sebab i just come back from utp to kt on 21st sept. so, baru beberapa hari la kan?

tapiiii, i'm missing utp life already. aduyaaaaai. baru few days. belum 4 bulan. honestly i can't imagine what is the feeling bila semester dah buka nanti. my prediction : i can hardly write! sbb dah lama sgt tak menulis kot. haha. well, my first year had gone quite rough. tak sama macam most of the people out there. it had been very hectic, very rocky, very happening, very loud and very silent at the same time. Alhamdulillah, those days were very colourful indeed.

many many things happened. dari segi akademik, there's nothing much to treasure sebab i haven't found my rhythm yet. still searching for the right tune. hmmm. but a few of other things yang terjadi was kinda the best moments i ever had so far. first i got involved into this "Martial Arts Festival" program. post : setiausaha -.- suppose event ni kecik je. tapi perancangan Allah Maha Hebat. Dia jadikan event ni berskala besar. bigger than all of us could ever imagined. dari post s/u ni la, saya baaaaaanyak belajar new things, dari segi sponsorship, public relations, logistics, and many mooore. ( we had ten departmnents all together) surat tak yah cerita la. dah berkarton kertas A4 habis. boleh buat re-plantation hutan. haha. i bought myself a new printer. *wink2* i was being really busy sampaikan wujudnye sistem "booking" upon me, in which my babes kena berebut dgn high coms kalau kiteorg nak 'berderak'. banyak gile konflik yang timbul. merajuk la kena pujuk la. so many sweet sour things. haha. throughout maf jugak sy jadi muak sgt dah dgn McD sbb selalu sgt maple sanaa. dah hafal dah setiap ceruk McD pengkalan/gopeng. every corner keeps a memory :)

among all the incidents that happened during maf, yg paling best ialah time kereta rosak kat ipoh. ok kenangan dan pengalaman itu sangatlah manisss utk ktorg bertiga. even masa benda tu jadi masing masing stress giler. haha. kadang kadang dalam mengenangkan jerih perih bekerja utk maf, bila teringat pengalaman ni terus senyum sorang sorang. haha. it soothes away the pain. well, panjang ceritanya kalau nak type rasenye i need a new entry kot. heee. tapi serius, dari situ la, bonding kiteorg gets stronger. from there, i built trust on them. and everytime i go to ipoh, lalu kat roundabout jpa where the car first died, memang, harus senyum sorang sorang. bonding antara high com sangatlah kuat and i love all of them so muchh. we became friends and siblings, where i get two lovely sisters and two naughty brothers. to be frank, sy mmg lebih rapat dgn dieorg compared to the rest of my coursemates (except hani & fatin) :) ape lagi sepu and kak wani were my team mates during kejohanan wajadiri nasional silat cekak ustaz hanafi kali ke 14. haaa, lagi la ngam!

speaking of KWN, haaa, ni lagi satu benda best yang terjadi. KWN is the annual silat cekak hanafi tournament which will be held at national level at choosen university. to be lucky, on my first participation, KWN buat kat utp pulak. cuakk tu wajib la ada. training siang malam. weekdays, weekends. penat ohhh. lebam lebam toksah cerita la. dah boleh buat peta malaysia kat badan! calar sana bengkak sini. oh myy, dah la rumah tingkat empat kan, kalau balik training pukul 3 pagi tu, mcm nenek dah nak naik tangga. sakit wooo. tapi Alhamdulillah, it was indeed a fruitful effort. for me myself, one gold, one silver and one bronze. and for the girl's team we grabbed the champion. heee. for the boys, takpe walaupun tak dapat korang tetap champion kat hati kiteorg. ceewahhh. :D yelaa, kita kan team, menang kalah tetap bersama. don't worry guyss. momen yang paling tak leh lupa time ni? masa nak cek turn pagi pagi tu, dah kena tamparan hebat dah. my partner(kak wani) and me were the first pair utk masuk gelanggang. and our acara tu was the first one to start! masa tu fikir gile apee. first one? memang nervousssss gile. tapi try cover. tapi rasa abg iz nampak (my coach). and die relax2 kan kiteorg. my team mates were very supportive. dieorg semua bagi kata semangat. terharu sgt. that's why i love them soooo much. dari gelanggang kat bawah i could hear they were screaming "utp! utp! utp!" wahhh. mmg pembakar semangat la. abg iz pun was with us sampai la saat last sblm kaki melangkah ke gelanggang. Alhamdulillah, we did our best. tapi sbgi first pair, mmg la markah tu average. abg iz dah ingtkan dah pasal hal tu sbb juri tak berani nak letak markah tinggi sbb they can't see the overall performances yet. soo, there i went, tak yakin sgt dpt pingat. klu dpt pun maybe gangsa. tapi Allah Maha Kaya, Alhamdulillah, He granted us gold. masa keputusan diumumkan tu, rasenya we both were hugging and holding hands so hard and bila keputusan diumumkan tu, we both jumped and smiled sampai kebas pipi. haha. that was a very golden moment for me. thank you Allah. may He grant us gold again next year, insya-Allah :)

kejohanan wajadiri nasioanl 14

super seven <3

itu adalah kebanyakan perkara yang took almost 75% of my time during my first year. yes, dua dua memang sgt seronok dan manis utk dikenang, tapi sebagai tanda sayang, Allah beri peringatan bila result first sem keluar. kenyataan tu mmg sgt perit utk ditelan, smpikan masa mula mula tu, rase macam tak nak keluar bilik pun, tak nak pergi kelas sebab malu sgt. itu adalah rekod akademik paling hitam dalam sejarah hidup sy. not many know, and i hid it from my ******* sebab i didn't want them to feel disappointed and worried. i know i'm a bad girl tapi i didn't have the heart to tell. seriously tak sanggup.

and you know what, saya menulis post ni dgn senyuman yang tak pernah lekang, dgn perasaan hati yang menguntum mengingati saat saat yang berlalu. indahnya. sebenarnya, rindunyaaa. sungguh, segala yang berlaku meninggalkan bekas bukan sahaja dalam hati tapi dalan ikatan sillaturrahim yang terjalin. yang renggang jadi rapat, yang jauh jadi dekat. buktinya, lepas habis final baru baru ni, kami berlima dari family ch pergi jalan jalan raya dari tronoh, batu gajah, ipoh, manjoi event sampai ke bidor. tu pun sikit lagi nak jejak teluk intan dan kuala kangsar. haha. i feel the warmth of acceptance in the midst of family bonding. saya takkan lupa dunkin donut tapah or even insiden pacat, situasi cangkuk dalam kereta sebab takut pacat naik kaki. haha. jus tembikai dgn mee goreng basah rumah leman yang memang pergghhh! haha. so much laughter. the next day atas request abg iz, before cuti panjang, we hang out again this time tgk johnny english (me for second time -.-) and saya dgn nida gelak dulu sbb ktorg dh tgk day day before dgn kak fifie n tirah. heeee. and had a simple dinner, a sweet treat suprise for abg iz and amir. ohh ohh and many days before, after lunch sesama, kiteorg keluar lagi dgn ajoy sbb dia dh nak grad and kiteorg tak dpt g convo dia >.< so all of us had dinner, played bowling, and acara wajib beli hadiah utk ajoy. it was a nice lovely evening spent with one of respectable senior. byk yang ajoy share and i believe kami semua akan ingat sampai bila bila :)

kiteorg story morry malam malam kat dataran ipoh pasal our childhood memories and then melarat sampai salam corner. haha. kat mana nak cari ganti friendship macam ni? oh guyss i hope i'm not the only who's been missing those special momentsss.  until i got onto the bus, i didn't have the thrill of going home, biasenya saya akan excited nak balik 2 3 hari before. haha. serius rasa mcm nak extend lagi stay. tapi tiket dah beli -.- and untuk yang tolong hantar me and my bags sampai atas bas, thank you so much. terhutang budi nih. haha.

hmmmmm. . . . .
rindunyaaa utp. baru few days. 4 months? i'm not sure.

a lot of things i've learned. yang paling terkesan is to reaaaaaaally have faith in Allah. wahuwa ma'akum ainama kuntum. He is always there wherever I am. I believe it. I do. :)

*p/s ; x larat nk type dh. haha. insya-Allah, next time. byeee ('',)

it's maria elenaaaa y'all

salam.


ok ok. i just finished my DE paper. and it s*cks. it really was. BUT, i will never give up hope on miracle, sebab Allah Maha Kuasa, mungkin ada rezeki untuk TIDAK REPEAT next sem, well at least D+ will be ok. (ohh, C pleaseee!) 


so, with 2 days gap, and the next coming paper is minyak dan gas, so i blog walked around the web, and one of the must-read one is of course maria elena. don't tell me you dont know her. no no no. because she's awesome and she's famous and she's an UTPian. wuhuuuu. and she studied chemical engineering here. but she graduated ady. same batch dgn abg muneer, our head faci. (hey, i got this on the net). haha. 


and i scrolled down down and down until i met this one post and it's very very interesting. here's the permanent link : http://peliks.blogspot.com/2011/04/nasihat-nak-masuk-universiti.html




there's a lot that i would like to quote from her piece of writing because i like her points because they are also my points (which means that i strongly agree with her). ok. so many because. -_-


in case, you're lazy enough to read and analyse,

"everywhere and anywhere pun you have to be prepared. but at least, try to brush up on your social skills. why? simple. if you're not open minded, you're not willing to take criticism, you're can't share opinions or accept others, you rather just sit at the corner buat muka cute, memang takde orang nak kisah la.
being social doesn't mean you have to go to every person and ask for their facebook so you can add them up or whatever you think being social means. i meant when you're open, you can talk confidently, you can share ideas and listen to others as well, insyallah orang lain pun have confidence in you and respect you.
you respect others, others will respect you. insyallah."(Maria Elena, 2011)
"just don't be overconfident.
majooooorrrr turn off." (Maria Elena, 2011)

"Tuhan nak challenge kita to make us push ourselves. to strive harder. takkan semua nak smooth sailing right? alhamdulillah i got on by fine! i bersyukur sangat with what i have now. =) " (Maria Elena, 2011)

"ok, you have to really know the terms and conditions to getting scholarships, if you're looking for it. not just petronas's scholarship, jpa ke mara ke, whatever la. know their terms. jangan main amik je sume nak belasah tapi bila dapat course yang doesn't suit u, you tak dapat perform. rugi. (Maria Elena, 2011)

ouchh, that hurts! -_-

"rezeki memang di tangan Tuhan, tapi usaha tu datang dari diri sendiri dong.
i sedar itu, and you should too." (Maria Elena, 2011)

"rezeki comes in many ways. you lose some, you gain some. " (Maria Elena, 2011)

"oh, preparations for interviews?

practise talking in english. you all yang hate english, ha memang cari pasal la. i takleh nak tolong in that matter." (Maria Elena, 2011)

so people, there's a lot to see, eat and digest. may these few thoughts of her (and me) will ignite the thoughts of yours. we may be different in thinking, yeah i know. but this is how i see life from my lens. so if you think i'm wrong don't blame me, blame my lens. HAHA.


to maria elena, you're my senior and i'm proud because you proved that there exists a kicking blogger out there who came from this so-called deserted university. who cares? i love utp. 


okehh, last word from me, live your life vibrantly. and remember our duty and worship goes only to Allah The Almighty. 


fin. 

and for those, who are asking me why i still pursue on the hecking engineering world, though my heart and soul are not with me,

aku rindu. sangat rindu :'(

ya Allah ya Tuhan kami,

persahabatan ini kami bina di atas jalan-Mu ya Rabb,

berkatilah setiap saat yang berlalu,

hangatkanlah ia dengan kasih sayang dan ukhwah yang tak pernah putus.

peganglah hati hati kami dengan kukuh

wahai Tuhan kami.

janganlah Engkau palingkan hati kami dari rahmat dan belas kasihan-Mu.

versi penyedap hati

salam.

ok. kecewa. sebabbb ;

- tak tau pun dah boleh cek coursework kat e learning. tade org bgtau ponnn..
- ok. bile cek, rendah la pulakkk. yang paling unexpected ialah markah lab. haishhh.

arrrggghhh. dah la exam hari tu macam ape je! and yet cgpa is very crucial. *sighhh*



hmmmm. so let by gone be by gone. nothing can be changed ady, rite? pray and hope. pray and hope. pray and hope.

O Allah, walk me through this hardship.


p/s : Stand up, chin up, and smile!

one step closer - engineering futures

salam.

wahhhh. saat paling bahagia bile chief invigilators announced ; ok, you may leave the hall now. waktu die cakap ok je, sy terus bgn. haha. stationery dh siap kemas, jaket dh lipat elok elok. ape lagi? despite duk 3rd row from front, tak malu dah. bangkit je trus. lega punya pasal. sumpah release gile rase.

officially, lebih kurang pukul 5.40 ptg td, tamatlah sudah riwayat zaman foundation di Universiti Teknologi Petronas yg terchenta. Alhamdulillah. Selepas semua jerih perih, berakhir jugak zaman kejatuhan ni. In total, lagi banyak air mata dari suka, lagi banyak tekanan dari leisure. ye la, nama pun study kan. hopefully, tak repeat. tak mauuuu. susah owh belajar engineering. sometimes, it's quite hard to believe i surived. Alhamdulillah, syukur sekali lagi.

so,

i'm now one step closer to my planned future. tapi itu la, sebagai hamba-Nya, kita hny mampu merancang, yg menentukan tetap Allah Yang Maha Esa. perjalanan yg terdampar kat depan, masih la tersangat panjang. i couldnt even figure out the end from here..

hmmm. future planning? study study study. ade scholar ke tak ke. nak study jugak. dah dunia skrg kan MEMENTINGKAN cgpa. tak gitu? sy nak jadik chemical engineer yg berjaya dan berguna. atau setidak tidaknya, sy nak graduate with Bachelor of Engineering (Honours) Chemical. :)) mama dgn ayah dh byk berkorban bersusah payah. so it's time to give back to them walaupun nilai sebenar pengorbanan mereka tak mampu dibalas balik biar smpi hujung nyawa sekalipun.

biar sejak kecik sy tak pernah bayang pun, i will opt for engineering, but it's okayyy. i'm already half way to grab the stars. am i? haha. org melayu kata; alang alang menyeluk pekasam, biar sampai ke pangkal lengan. untuk kawan kawan kat utipet nih; sama sama kita MAS, sama sama kite grad ea! sayang korang semua ketat ketat.

picture from : flickr.com

jadi, jom la kite enjoy, relax sket 2 minggu ni;

sebelum, kite jumpe balik dengan ORGANIC CHEMISTRY !

ouh. we might need this, folks ;

moral of the stories ; next time in planning the future, do what your heart tells you to. but if it's too late, maybe your heart is some kinda mute or maybe you try to pretend deaf, then start believing in what you're doing sebab, there can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do.


ok amirah! enough with random scrap mumblingggss. packing jom! ahaaa. 


p/s : everybody wants to be like him. so do i. :)

picture taken from :  muhammadassad.com

.

the few things to tell

salam.

td baru je post something kat sini kan. lupa plak ade lagi bende nak post. banyaaaaaaak la jugak. hehe. :D

ermmm, ok. i'll start dengan result semester 2 dulu. result dah keluar hari jumaat lepas. pagi tu mama call, then lepas tu, tak cakap lagi sebab gi check kt prism result mmg tak kelauar lagi. then towards the evening, masa tgh berprofile stalking (hehe), terlihat lah komen komen kat news feed yg berbunyi "wahhh. dean list bro, tahniah!". pastu ape lagi, cepat cepat la mengklik 'new tab' kat sblh fb tu. bile bukak je slip result tu, the first thing that crossed my mind time tu ; "Allahuakabar, scholar aku!". Result die, ermmm mcm mana nk kata ek, it's better than previous sem, tp still, i'm not happy sbb tiga angka tu memang obviously tak dpt jamin scholar utk UG nanti. haish. tp, dlm kecoh kecoh tu kan, Alhamdulillah, ada improvement and lepas 3 pointer. and the second thing that crossed my mind ; "oweeiii. gane nk cakap kat mama ngan ayah ni". feeling guilty? tu toksah cerita la. mmg rasa bersalah tahap gaban. haisshhh. dugaan dugaan. harap sgt sgt JPA baik hati klu tak dpt cgpa 3.4, die akan still consider utk trus bagi scholar even dpt warning letter pun kire ok la rather than kene tarik trus kan. pastu masa bgtau mama mlm tu, mmg sah sah dpt lecture free. sokayyy. my mistake as well. mama kata, tu la over confident sgt. erkkk! =__=" mama ckp lagi, klu scholar kene tarik, mama tak leh nk tolong dh, duk rumah je la nanti. boleh je terbayang jadi bibik kat rumah tu kan. adoooihh. nauzubillahiminzalik! pastu, bgtau ayah. heee. ayah cool sikit. ayah kata sokayyy, kakak dh try. but still, i sniffed the sense of disappointment in the air. sorry ayah. *this was what i meant when i told you why i didn't want to pursue engineering. i know i hv to force myself to love the subjects; lagi lagi la maths. and this is what happen when you do/endure something without passion :|* okay. forget about that. so rite now, nk cari senior yg pernah ada experience mcm ni. i mean, bdk JPA yg tak dpt cgpa 3.4 masa foundy, were they given the second chance or how? sape sape yg kenal, do tell me :)

ok. enough about the not-really-good-news part. move on to this weekend, saya telah pun pergi sekali lagi ke felda residence trolak for leadership workshop under caunseling unit of SSD. i was representing MAKNA UTP. hooyeahh! program ni run for 2 days and 1 night.40 representatives from various club and student bodies were there. tp tak semua. PSSCHUTP and HELWI pun ada. waaaa. suke suke. program tu best. klu nk rate i would give 4.5 out of 5. kat sana semuanye leaders yg super gempak ; RM, MEDTECH,RCSU,ROBOCON,MPP. nasib baik la ramai yang kenal, so takde la rase awkward sgt. ada kak tini, kak syida, kak syafiqa, wani, and kak ain. ouh and wakil MAKNA consist of three people semuanye my coursemate ; me, Tiara and Hazwan. most of the module need us to be in group so i was in group COMPASS ;) and as always i'm THE ONLY GIRL dlm group tu and i felt really really ganjil and kerdil. lagilah dpt group leader like azrul tuh, mmg kene buli !but apart from that, i learnt a lot of thing, met a lot of different kind of people, communicate better, trained to think critically, punctuality widen my scoop of mind, creating bond between other leaders, learn to accept others explaination. wow. many more to list actually. the best part, is the bond created, the fun and enjoyment, the laugh, the winning :oyeahhh! go compass!, and mcm mana nk tahan dengan org yg gila gila mcm azrul. seriously tak tipu, he has extra tonnes of humour and perkara yg tak boleh bla. insane! but at many points, i do respect him sebab obviously he has the pure character of a leader. *cakap banyak banyak ni bukan sebab syok kat die ek. "sot" la mamat tuh.* when he talks, he wants everybody to hear, to digest and if he's wrong, he wants people to straight away shoot. knowledge die sgt la banyakkkkk. klu time die share something kat depan, org dh blh kagum, just imagine being one of his "fruit children" (as quoted by him), he shares a lot more. i like the principal he hold, bile die jokes around memang pecah perut, klu kejam mmg kejam giler, but when it comes to work he's dead serious!

masa nak balik, rasa mcm nak stay lagi. tapi esok ada kelas and khamis ada test. so, enough for honeymoon! but then, bas dtg lambat gile. so kiteorg pun apa lagi, bergambar la. haha. kiteorg seronok je bergambar, kunci bilik pass kat anis ngan irfan je suh dieorg htr kat reception (jauh kot). thanks to both of you for being gentlemen, tp anissss, my name is not asmah okayyy. lawak la kau! :P tgu punye tgu, lepas dh abis satu forum wanita (dgn girls) baru la bas sampai. sesat rupenye. driver tu tgh bad mood. kiteorg pulak demand nk stop lunch. lapar kot. lunch not provided. nasib baik la uncle tu stop jugak. tp.. setengah jam saja! ok la uncle! so, makan la kat KFC ngan tiara ngan hazwan. kak syafiqah ngan wani pun skali. ouh, and sedikit dunkin donut utk santapan petang. hahaha. :D and the journey home sgt la memeningkan sbb lagu tamilllll! tp tgk movie ngan tiara tp still x boleh tido! pening doe! around 4 - 4.30 ++, smpi la kat utp. Alhamdulillah. dan esok kelasssss. haha. anyway, i do wanna go again to this workshop esp with all these awesome guys. next time maybe? :DDD

 :: amirah suhaimi and hani tiara faihana :: 

:: hooyeahh. group tiara ngan hazwan tgh bentang ::

:: dalam ramai ramai tu, ni je la bungan bunga yang sedang mekar ::

:: us again. go MAKNA! oyeahh. :) ::

:: profile picture. kan tiara kan? haha ::

:: ok. jangan cakap apa apa ::

raw punye experience

salam.
sewaktu entry ni ditulis, sy baru shj pulang dari sebuah kem motivasi di gopeng. slot terakhir malam td, spt biasa, berupa pengisian yang Alhamdulillah, sedikit sbyk dpt memuhasabahkan diri ini. waktu slot terakhir tu, ada ditayangkan video gejala sosial remaja skrg yang dah tahap kronik punyer kronik. bhs kasarnye, tahap gaban la keseriusan masalah ni. in comparison, ditayangkan pula, video remaja remaja Palestine yang seusia, sedang galak menghalau anjing anjing zionis dari bumi mereka yang tertindas. Subhanallah, jauhnya jurang Malaysia dan Palestine.

nak dijadikan cerita, malam tu, kami dihantar pulang oleh seorg senior kami yang tak kurang hebat orgnya, dari segi tarbiyah dan kepimpinan. mungkin malam td Allah nak tunjuk pengalaman yang betul betul raw utk kami - kami tgk live mat rempit lepas accident. lelaki tu masih terbaring atas jalan, tak bergerak waktu kitaorg lalu tu. hidup atau mati, wallahualam. dah la tu, BANYAK giler mat rempit time tu. yang herannye, kawan dieorg accident kot, some of them boleh ignore je, sambung rempit pulak tu! adehhh. ni la yang dikatakan barah sosial. Masya-Allah. sambil sambil tu dapat tazkirah free dari senior sy ni, katenye, ni la masalah remaja ngr kita, klu negara lain remaja dieorg tak cukup makan, ngr kita? bukan stakat terlebih makan, terlebih minyak motor segala sampai duk berlumba sia sia. kata senior sy lagi, cuba bayangkan, kalau yang terbaring td tu, mati (mohon dijauhkan), tak ke sia sia? bau syurga ke? atau neraka? Nauzubillahiminzalik.

Alhamdulillah, dpt pengajaran live. dah la yang kat kem td still fresh lagi. semoga Allah membuka pintu hati kita dengan hidayah-Nya dan mohon dijauhkan barah sosial ni dari merebak kat keluarga, rakan rakan, dan jugak masyarakat sekeliling. Amin.

itulah gunanya pesan memesan. ;)

ni la video yang sempat dirakam sikit kan. tengok boleh tapi JANGAN BUAT!

p/s : malu seyh, tertekan butang capture. dh la flash kuat. aduuiihhh. O.O

amaran : jangan aplikasikan dalam kehidupan kita !

salam semua.

baru baru ni, 28/08, under event Moment to Share, saya pergi berbuka puasa di rumah orang-orang tua, di Tanjung Rambutan. to be more specific, Rumah Seri Kenangan yang betul betul terletak di dalam kawasan Hospital Bahagia. kami bertolak lepas Zohor, lebih kurang pukul 2.15 ptg dari UTP. perjalanan dgn bas ambik masa sejam lebih utk sampai. mula mula hati ni diulit macam macam perasaan gembira, teruja, takut takut pun ada. ye la, sebelum pergi ada je senior yang cakap nanti kene peluk la, kene gigit telinga la. memang tak leh bla. tapi tak de pun. stakat kene peluk dengan mak cik mak cik tu ade la. anyway, lepas je sampai, terus ada opening ceremony, then kita orang pun start operasi buat panjut dan pasang pelita. nak mendamaikan suasana, Allah turunkan hujan petang tu, jadi maknanya kaun adam je la yang bertungkus lumus bawah hujan potong buluh dan sebagainya. komited dieorang ek. memandangkan kami ni "alergik" hujan, jadi kami ni pun duduk melayan pak cik sorang ni yang dari tadi tak berganjak duduknya, tak diam celotehnye. pak cik mansor nama dia. dari dia, banyak yang saya dapat belajar. yang paling penting, saya tak nak hantar mak ayah saya ke rumah orang orang tua. kalau dieorang boleh tengok dan tatang saya membesar, kenapa tidak saya tengok dan jaga dieorang masa tua dieorang nanti. dan saya tak mau ada gaduh gaduh antara adik beradik saya. mama, ayah, mak selalu pesan, kita yang tua, biar la kita mengalah dengan adik adik. dah lama saya berpegang dengan prinsip tu, dan alhamdulillah, Allah SWT masih pelihara kasih sayang kitaorg.

apa yang buat saya keluarkan statements kat atas?
selama ni, saya fikir, layanan buruk di pusat pusat kebajikan adalah stigma komuniti semata mata, yang di hanyutkan arus media massa dan sebgainya. tapi setelah saya dengar, rasa dan lihat sendiri, ternyata ia bukan stigma. malah, dalam pada masyarakat penyayang yang cuba di wujudkan, layanan buruk ini adalah suatu realiti. bayangkan, pinggan mangkuk yang tak bersabun, layanan yang langsung tiada kemesraan, kakitangan yang kebas pipi (tak pandai senyum), amalan ibadah yang tidak diuruskan, masya-Allah, hebat sungguh ujian ayahanda bonda di RSK. kalau saya sekalipun yang berada di sana, saya lari. saya tak tipu. tapi mereka, mereka nak lari ke mana? tempat mana lagi yang mereka nak tuju? kudrat mana yang mahu dikerahkan? saudara mana yang boleh diharapkan? bagi mereka tiada. apa yang kita anggap nestapa, bagi mereka kurnia.

waktu saya bersembang dengan pak cik mansor, banyak yang diberitahu. apa yang menyentuh jiwa saya ialah p c mansor ni anak yatim piatu, tapi masih punya adik dan kakak (kalau tak silap).yang pasti, dia masih ada saudara sedarah daging yang masih bernafas di bumi yang sama. saya quote balik kata kata p c mansor "pak cik nak balik buat apa, dik. kakak, adik semuo tak suka.." sayu butiran kata itu ditabur. hatinya pasti luka parah. entahlah, masih terlalu awal untuk saya selami lagi. terus saya teringat adik adik. semoga kasih sayang kakak untuk korang cukup dan tak pernah kurang. kakak tak mau kene dumb kat pusat kebajikan macam tu. nauzubillah. 

petang tu jugak, selepas saje majlis berbuka puasa, ada khabar duka buat Kak Syud, (HOD saya). datuk yang tersayang baru saja menyahut seruan Ilahi. Innalillahiwainnailahirojiun. Dari Dia kita datang, kepada Dia jualah kita kembali. sabarlah Kak Syud, Allah lebih berkuasa atas segala-galanya. saya tahu, perasaan Kak Syud mesti remuk sebab waktu Kak Syud dapat tahu, akak berada di tengah tengah mereka yang segolongan dengan arwah kan. redhalah kak, kematian tu kan suatu ketentuan, dah pun ditetapkan sejak azali. kejapkan hati dan basahkan bibir berdoa untuk arwah. semoga rohnya ditempatkan di kalangan orang orang yang soleh. Al-Fatihah.

 ooo. ini panjuttt. (:
eh, tb kenapa tiup pelita tu? kan dh padam. haish.

hujung paling kiri, pak cik mansor

with faridah, syafiq, abg budin, dengan akak yang saya lupa tny nama (:

EH2, LUPA. CREDIT TO FARIDAH HANIM ABU BAKAR FOR ALL THE PHOTOS

burning the midnight oil. owh, actually, the dawn oil. :D

salam semua.

the moment this post is being written, i just received good news from fatin filzati that our poster had already been marked. Alhamdulillah. Praise be to Allah. finally, all the hardships or shall i say all the "very late" hardships pay.

GERENTOLOGY - done.
ISLAMIC STUDIES
 - booklet : done
 - book review : done
 - presentation : done

wow. i guess this second semester is already on it's way to end. surely, final examination awaits on the 4th of September. *sigh*

ooppss! and don't forget guys, we have one more presentation to endure, which is our loveable addiction ; F O P. haha.

guess i'll be burning the midnight oil AGAIN as i did this morning. when i said midnight oil, it's actually far beyond that.

actually, it's been a while for me doing this last minute homework. yea, surely during high school, i've done that a lot of  time. but i NEVER stayed up until 5 am! at least, the worst i've done was finishing homeworks during assembly (esp during the principle's looooooooooooong speech). :DD

and for sure, this evening is just the perfect time to hibernate. haha. so, DON'T DISTURB! PUTERI DI KAMAR PERADUAN !

rindunya untuk kembali berkomitmen

salam and hi.

dalam kekalutan menyediakan persiapan untuk M.I.W. , entah kenapa hati ni rasa tdk bersemangat sprt pada awal aku mengambil keputusan utk menyertai event ini dulu. ingt lagi kata kata yang aku lontarkan utk cuba memberi komitmen. ternyata, aku gagal. kecundang dgn begitu hebat sekali. aku kira, percubaan pertama ku ini, bukanlah sesuatu yang ingin aku kenang sampai bila bila. aku kira, percubaan premier ku ini, cuma dapat ku jadikan rujukan agar kelak, aku lebih bersedia. dalam diam, aku lihat sahabatku, tekun menjalankan amanahnya. sampai tak dapat tidur malam. sungguh, aku rindu waktu waktu dulu. waktu aku seperti sahabatku, berkomitmen dgn sepenuh hati. ada ketikanya, aku tertanya tanya jua, mengapa komitmen yang sama gagal aku lahirkan kali ini? kalbuku berbisik, bukan saat ini. bukan waktu ini. insya-Allah, bila aku sendiri bersedia, masanya akan tiba.

aku menyoroti rentetan hidupku sejak belakangan ini. satu persatu aku rungkai persoalan ini. memang, masanya mmg tdk kena. aku terlalu hanyut dipukul arus emosi waktu pointer semester pertama dikhabarkan. aku jadi tak keruan. aku jadi keliru dengan haluanku. aku jadi serba salah pada ibu dan ayahku. waktu itu, pertimbanganku jadi agak mereng, barangkali. semangat ku hilang, entah terbang ke mana.

kemudian, aku jadi camar. terbang pulang ke tanah kelahiran. suatu malam, mama dan ayah membawa ku bersantai ke gigian ombak. bayu yang memukul wajah seolah olah berbisik menenangkan hati yang gundah. sesi hati ke hati itu memang amat aku rindu. kata ayah, langkahan hidup ini perlu terus aku lontarkan. yang telah terjadi, harus aku lepaskan, walau sakitnya, perit amat. yang terbentang di hadapku adalah jalan ketentuan. yang dapat mengubahnya hanyalah doa dan kemahuan. aku bungkam seribu bahasa. kata ayah lagi, aku telah membuktikan usaha dan ketekunan itu kunci kejayaan. aku telah pun melakukannya sekali sewaktu SPM. mgp tidak aku ulangi lagi? ayah kata, "enjoy yourself, like you did last time".

aku paku kata kata itu sedalam mungkin. aku ingat ingat kembali, tahun tahun akhir pengajianku di SS. Alhamdulillah, tiada masalah bagiku, menguruskan komitmen yang seribu. baik, di kelas, lembaga pengawas, dan yang lain. malah, aku tambah teruja mendepani hari hari persokalahan yang kian beban.

waktu semangatku hilang, aku cuma mahu kata kata ayah itu bergema dalam sanubariku. aku ingin semai dalam diriku sendiri ; i've done it before. let's do it again. shall we? (:

lembaga pengawas SMKSS 2009

one of the shot from Prefect's Annual Dinner with Shahril

another shot with adik adik junior & rakan rakan exco seperjuangan

we graduated from a school which treasures a memories of us

5 Al Amin 2009

perkampungan penulis muda, pontian, johor

Bangkok, Thailand, 07 jun 2009

amirah, you can do it!

wow ! how time has dragged me so far..

serious s**t. it's july already. and i felt like it was only yesterday that i left home for UTP.

memories are best kept and remembered

.:: lots more of MAS MAY JPA 2o10 ::.

>.<

memorable yet very hectic

during last 5 days, i was involved in Minggu Aluan Siswa (MAS) or better known as the orientation week in UTP. the event was held  to introduce to the new students the real situation of being a university student and at the same time to help them to coop with the campus layout as it is undoubtfully, a new ambience to them. to be honest, i didn't expect to become a facilitator within this year as me myself, is just a foundation student. and my last MAS - which i was the freshie, was only held in the last January. so, it's quite fast but then for me, the faster you get the experience, the better. a lot had happen during the 5 days. a lot had changed. and yeah, i met a lot of wonderful and amazing people. thanks to Anis Syahirah who offered me the chance. i was really happy with what i've done and learnt. it's amazing to work with a huge team who are like family. though i was not a famous facee (hehe), seriously it's okay because i know that i wasn't really that "close" with the freshie, and i was not at the front all the time. but again, seriously, it's fine with me. as long as they appreciated what i've been working for. it's just nice to be humble. and i was satisfied because for me, i managed to control myself from being over excited and over reacted, and at least, i managed to keep the obligatory gap as what the hukum said. yeah, it was a really hectic week yet, a memorable one. the proof is, i miss every second being a part of mas may jpa 2010 family, and i started missing it the moment it ends..

ipoh trip

salam..

today's the ipoh trip day. hoho. overall, it's not that bad. plus, i got the chance to shop - which is indeed my specialty. hehe. bought a new pair of alain delon.went back to tronoh, with such a great feeling. hey, shopping therapy helps a lot in forgetting all those stressful moments doing the assignment!! haha. most of all, i really enjoyed the time spent with my friends, the new one, the old one, the senior. hoho. alhamdulillah, today's going to end soon. though tired, i'm happy. thanks Allah for all those pleasure.. =)