the real meaning of "rindu"

salam.

haaa, jiwang tak tajuk post ni? haha. actually rindu ni bukan rindu yang cintan cintan tuhh. so shut up your mind if you expect me to talk about lovey dovey thingy. heee. sebenarnya i would like to talk about my first year of study dan jugak this 4 months loooooooooong break. i know budak budak utp dah cuti for like two weeks or more. but for me, cut off one week sebab i just come back from utp to kt on 21st sept. so, baru beberapa hari la kan?

tapiiii, i'm missing utp life already. aduyaaaaai. baru few days. belum 4 bulan. honestly i can't imagine what is the feeling bila semester dah buka nanti. my prediction : i can hardly write! sbb dah lama sgt tak menulis kot. haha. well, my first year had gone quite rough. tak sama macam most of the people out there. it had been very hectic, very rocky, very happening, very loud and very silent at the same time. Alhamdulillah, those days were very colourful indeed.

many many things happened. dari segi akademik, there's nothing much to treasure sebab i haven't found my rhythm yet. still searching for the right tune. hmmm. but a few of other things yang terjadi was kinda the best moments i ever had so far. first i got involved into this "Martial Arts Festival" program. post : setiausaha -.- suppose event ni kecik je. tapi perancangan Allah Maha Hebat. Dia jadikan event ni berskala besar. bigger than all of us could ever imagined. dari post s/u ni la, saya baaaaaanyak belajar new things, dari segi sponsorship, public relations, logistics, and many mooore. ( we had ten departmnents all together) surat tak yah cerita la. dah berkarton kertas A4 habis. boleh buat re-plantation hutan. haha. i bought myself a new printer. *wink2* i was being really busy sampaikan wujudnye sistem "booking" upon me, in which my babes kena berebut dgn high coms kalau kiteorg nak 'berderak'. banyak gile konflik yang timbul. merajuk la kena pujuk la. so many sweet sour things. haha. throughout maf jugak sy jadi muak sgt dah dgn McD sbb selalu sgt maple sanaa. dah hafal dah setiap ceruk McD pengkalan/gopeng. every corner keeps a memory :)

among all the incidents that happened during maf, yg paling best ialah time kereta rosak kat ipoh. ok kenangan dan pengalaman itu sangatlah manisss utk ktorg bertiga. even masa benda tu jadi masing masing stress giler. haha. kadang kadang dalam mengenangkan jerih perih bekerja utk maf, bila teringat pengalaman ni terus senyum sorang sorang. haha. it soothes away the pain. well, panjang ceritanya kalau nak type rasenye i need a new entry kot. heee. tapi serius, dari situ la, bonding kiteorg gets stronger. from there, i built trust on them. and everytime i go to ipoh, lalu kat roundabout jpa where the car first died, memang, harus senyum sorang sorang. bonding antara high com sangatlah kuat and i love all of them so muchh. we became friends and siblings, where i get two lovely sisters and two naughty brothers. to be frank, sy mmg lebih rapat dgn dieorg compared to the rest of my coursemates (except hani & fatin) :) ape lagi sepu and kak wani were my team mates during kejohanan wajadiri nasional silat cekak ustaz hanafi kali ke 14. haaa, lagi la ngam!

speaking of KWN, haaa, ni lagi satu benda best yang terjadi. KWN is the annual silat cekak hanafi tournament which will be held at national level at choosen university. to be lucky, on my first participation, KWN buat kat utp pulak. cuakk tu wajib la ada. training siang malam. weekdays, weekends. penat ohhh. lebam lebam toksah cerita la. dah boleh buat peta malaysia kat badan! calar sana bengkak sini. oh myy, dah la rumah tingkat empat kan, kalau balik training pukul 3 pagi tu, mcm nenek dah nak naik tangga. sakit wooo. tapi Alhamdulillah, it was indeed a fruitful effort. for me myself, one gold, one silver and one bronze. and for the girl's team we grabbed the champion. heee. for the boys, takpe walaupun tak dapat korang tetap champion kat hati kiteorg. ceewahhh. :D yelaa, kita kan team, menang kalah tetap bersama. don't worry guyss. momen yang paling tak leh lupa time ni? masa nak cek turn pagi pagi tu, dah kena tamparan hebat dah. my partner(kak wani) and me were the first pair utk masuk gelanggang. and our acara tu was the first one to start! masa tu fikir gile apee. first one? memang nervousssss gile. tapi try cover. tapi rasa abg iz nampak (my coach). and die relax2 kan kiteorg. my team mates were very supportive. dieorg semua bagi kata semangat. terharu sgt. that's why i love them soooo much. dari gelanggang kat bawah i could hear they were screaming "utp! utp! utp!" wahhh. mmg pembakar semangat la. abg iz pun was with us sampai la saat last sblm kaki melangkah ke gelanggang. Alhamdulillah, we did our best. tapi sbgi first pair, mmg la markah tu average. abg iz dah ingtkan dah pasal hal tu sbb juri tak berani nak letak markah tinggi sbb they can't see the overall performances yet. soo, there i went, tak yakin sgt dpt pingat. klu dpt pun maybe gangsa. tapi Allah Maha Kaya, Alhamdulillah, He granted us gold. masa keputusan diumumkan tu, rasenya we both were hugging and holding hands so hard and bila keputusan diumumkan tu, we both jumped and smiled sampai kebas pipi. haha. that was a very golden moment for me. thank you Allah. may He grant us gold again next year, insya-Allah :)

kejohanan wajadiri nasioanl 14

super seven <3

itu adalah kebanyakan perkara yang took almost 75% of my time during my first year. yes, dua dua memang sgt seronok dan manis utk dikenang, tapi sebagai tanda sayang, Allah beri peringatan bila result first sem keluar. kenyataan tu mmg sgt perit utk ditelan, smpikan masa mula mula tu, rase macam tak nak keluar bilik pun, tak nak pergi kelas sebab malu sgt. itu adalah rekod akademik paling hitam dalam sejarah hidup sy. not many know, and i hid it from my ******* sebab i didn't want them to feel disappointed and worried. i know i'm a bad girl tapi i didn't have the heart to tell. seriously tak sanggup.

and you know what, saya menulis post ni dgn senyuman yang tak pernah lekang, dgn perasaan hati yang menguntum mengingati saat saat yang berlalu. indahnya. sebenarnya, rindunyaaa. sungguh, segala yang berlaku meninggalkan bekas bukan sahaja dalam hati tapi dalan ikatan sillaturrahim yang terjalin. yang renggang jadi rapat, yang jauh jadi dekat. buktinya, lepas habis final baru baru ni, kami berlima dari family ch pergi jalan jalan raya dari tronoh, batu gajah, ipoh, manjoi event sampai ke bidor. tu pun sikit lagi nak jejak teluk intan dan kuala kangsar. haha. i feel the warmth of acceptance in the midst of family bonding. saya takkan lupa dunkin donut tapah or even insiden pacat, situasi cangkuk dalam kereta sebab takut pacat naik kaki. haha. jus tembikai dgn mee goreng basah rumah leman yang memang pergghhh! haha. so much laughter. the next day atas request abg iz, before cuti panjang, we hang out again this time tgk johnny english (me for second time -.-) and saya dgn nida gelak dulu sbb ktorg dh tgk day day before dgn kak fifie n tirah. heeee. and had a simple dinner, a sweet treat suprise for abg iz and amir. ohh ohh and many days before, after lunch sesama, kiteorg keluar lagi dgn ajoy sbb dia dh nak grad and kiteorg tak dpt g convo dia >.< so all of us had dinner, played bowling, and acara wajib beli hadiah utk ajoy. it was a nice lovely evening spent with one of respectable senior. byk yang ajoy share and i believe kami semua akan ingat sampai bila bila :)

kiteorg story morry malam malam kat dataran ipoh pasal our childhood memories and then melarat sampai salam corner. haha. kat mana nak cari ganti friendship macam ni? oh guyss i hope i'm not the only who's been missing those special momentsss.  until i got onto the bus, i didn't have the thrill of going home, biasenya saya akan excited nak balik 2 3 hari before. haha. serius rasa mcm nak extend lagi stay. tapi tiket dah beli -.- and untuk yang tolong hantar me and my bags sampai atas bas, thank you so much. terhutang budi nih. haha.

hmmmmm. . . . .
rindunyaaa utp. baru few days. 4 months? i'm not sure.

a lot of things i've learned. yang paling terkesan is to reaaaaaaally have faith in Allah. wahuwa ma'akum ainama kuntum. He is always there wherever I am. I believe it. I do. :)

*p/s ; x larat nk type dh. haha. insya-Allah, next time. byeee ('',)

kenangan lalu - bilakah mahu kembali ?

salam

2,3 hari ni banyak benda yang membawa ingatan pada masa lalu. zaman sekolah sekolah dulu. rindunyaa.
things went smoothly on that time. mmg jauh gila beza dgn skrg. haihh, rindunyaa zaman sekolah.

juara pantun KTS. haha. ingt lagi mula mula cg khaty ingt kalah.
 tapi, Alhamdulillah, menang :)

dulu la. sekarang? haha. 

spm 09. the glory - when will it come again?

ketaq lutut :P

yupp. who would have known how bittersweet this would taste? apa apa pun, let's be grateful to Allah SWT for the life He granted us, tak kisah la how hard we feel, but believe it He knows the best utk hamba hamba-Nya. lets say Alhamdulillah. Praise be to Allah :)

faith

" wahuwa ma'akum ainama kuntum "
Allah bersama kamu di mana shj kamu berada. :)

thank you, Allah.

it was a wonderful sahur, and it was a part of celebration

salam.

yes, it is 6.47 am masa post ni ditulis. i just came back from Mc'd and i couldn't sleep though i'm very very sleepy. so i decided to blogging. *sigh* mcm la takde assignment nak buat kan. hehe.

tadi, i went sahur with kak wani, ajoy, hazlam and irfan. waaa, hazlam really brought me to mcd la! haha. that's very nice of you guys, to sahur together ala ala celebrate my birthday sekali. i think dalam banyak banyak team i've joined korang la yang paling best dan sempoi. i felt really much appreciated. hehe. thank you for giving me the chance to say something but i'm not prepared guys and I'VE NOTHING TO DECLARE, okay ? haha. not my type :P

so to my teammates, thank you for the wonderful sahur. it was wonderful because of you guys. and thank you lam sbb belanja minyak kereta. haha. pun boleyy. AND THANK YOU FOR A CLEAN BIRTHDAY GUYSS. :)

p/s : aku dh byk kali sgt tgk iklan gangster tu, but mmg extra funny bila tgk dgn korg. haha.

happy birthday to me. and i'm officially nineteen. ehee :D

salam.

ok so today is 9th August 2011. selain dari hari kemerdekaan singapore, today is also my fav day because today is my 19th birthday. yeayyy! :D yes people, i'm officially nineteen. i was a bit clumsy waktu post ni ditulis, yela, sebab tgh duk enak mengunyah popia gulung tu, tetiba air teh o laici tu "tap tap tap" menitik dari plastik tumpah ke lantai. adeyyhh. pastu, dadaih coklat pulak tumpah atas cadar. nasib baik sikit je. haha. hari ni i managed to go to classes quit well, except pagi td escape replacement dr piven and turn out he didnt come for the evening lecture. aiyoo. penat kot jalan dari v4 ke blok 2. and i dont own a turquoise Mercedes-Benz, fyi. haha. just kidding!

anyway, today is a splendid day. and walaupun hari ni is not yet over, but i can say that i am very very happy today. and if i have a wish today, i would like this beautiful day to last forever. i know it sounds ridiculous, but hey, today is my birthday, remember? so i get to wish whatever i want :P

thank you for the facebook wishes. i managed to reply all, hundred over post. yess! haha. special appreciation for my two sweet sweet girlfriends, HANI TIARA & FATIN FILZATI. for the so-called prank la ye. haha. it was very nice for both of you susah susah cari ice cream buat sweet treat segala. it was not an ordinary birthday for me, since takde kek, but a very special one, thanks to both girls for the special dish. hehe. love you guys like forever! <3

my lovely birthday cake. honest ni :')

but actually, above all, what matters to me the MOST is my family. hari ni, all five of them wished me happy birthday, and i'm so happy that this top five people in my love list still wanna celebrate me after 19 years being with them. i called my dad a day before, and he obviously remember the date and that alone had left me smiling all night long even after a _____________ (fill in the blank) O Chem test 3.

zaim was the earliest to wish me, and he made a cupcake for me, event just a baking-life-facebook one, i did almost cry. how my lovely brothers have grown up, and so do i. i guess everybody was given a fair chance of growing up. :)

ayah woke me up, with a simple sweet msg. hehe. you always know me the best. better than anyone else. then mok, after an hour long call (i got free call, thanks celcom! eheee :D ), then my chubby little azim, and lastly mom. yes i cried again, reading her wall post. who would not cry when your mother said youre a beautiful little girl who has been the apple to her eyes, though all the troubles and problems that you've brought in your life. oh Allah, thank you for the most special gifts You've given me, my parents <3

so insya-Allah, kalau panjang umur, i'll be given another one year as a teenager. my final teenage year. waaaa. dah boleh kawin. haha. just joking peeps! so dgn bersungguh-sungguhnye i want to study harder, and i have my own ultimate personal aim. c'mon amirah, it's your last chance to show that i did achieve something when i'm a TEENAGER. yess. next year you are 20. insya-Allah.

akhir kalam, i am still thinking whether to go or not to go to training tonight. because i smelled something really fishy going on. haha. hmmm. thank you again kepada SEMUA yang wish, yang buat distance calls, esp AINMO & ADIA, NIDA for the lovely blouse and my gratitude expands to all. sorry la maybe no cake this time, i need to save money for my ticket. Terengganu awaits. haha. ayah sudah janji mau celebrate. ngehh33.

ok peeps, i have 25 more minutes before training starts and i need to think and decide. haha. Ramadhan Kareem everybody moga rahmat & redha Allah memayungi kita semua selalu :)

p/s : seronok jugak birthday time puasa ni ye. hehehe. :)

pahit maung hidup

Tuhan menjadikan pahit maung hidup
kerana Dia Maha Adil
kerana kejayaan itu rasanya manis
tiada tawar

Tuhan menjadikan pahit maung hidup
kerana Dia Maha Kaya
mahu hamba-Nya merasa pelbagai peristiwa
dengan suka atau juntaian air mata

Tuhan menjadikan pahit maung hidup
kerana Dia Maha Mengetahui
dan Dia ingin hamba-Nya tahu
masih ada yang gagah berdiri di sisi
sekalipun diri gagal dan gagal lagi

it's maria elenaaaa y'all

salam.


ok ok. i just finished my DE paper. and it s*cks. it really was. BUT, i will never give up hope on miracle, sebab Allah Maha Kuasa, mungkin ada rezeki untuk TIDAK REPEAT next sem, well at least D+ will be ok. (ohh, C pleaseee!) 


so, with 2 days gap, and the next coming paper is minyak dan gas, so i blog walked around the web, and one of the must-read one is of course maria elena. don't tell me you dont know her. no no no. because she's awesome and she's famous and she's an UTPian. wuhuuuu. and she studied chemical engineering here. but she graduated ady. same batch dgn abg muneer, our head faci. (hey, i got this on the net). haha. 


and i scrolled down down and down until i met this one post and it's very very interesting. here's the permanent link : http://peliks.blogspot.com/2011/04/nasihat-nak-masuk-universiti.html




there's a lot that i would like to quote from her piece of writing because i like her points because they are also my points (which means that i strongly agree with her). ok. so many because. -_-


in case, you're lazy enough to read and analyse,

"everywhere and anywhere pun you have to be prepared. but at least, try to brush up on your social skills. why? simple. if you're not open minded, you're not willing to take criticism, you're can't share opinions or accept others, you rather just sit at the corner buat muka cute, memang takde orang nak kisah la.
being social doesn't mean you have to go to every person and ask for their facebook so you can add them up or whatever you think being social means. i meant when you're open, you can talk confidently, you can share ideas and listen to others as well, insyallah orang lain pun have confidence in you and respect you.
you respect others, others will respect you. insyallah."(Maria Elena, 2011)
"just don't be overconfident.
majooooorrrr turn off." (Maria Elena, 2011)

"Tuhan nak challenge kita to make us push ourselves. to strive harder. takkan semua nak smooth sailing right? alhamdulillah i got on by fine! i bersyukur sangat with what i have now. =) " (Maria Elena, 2011)

"ok, you have to really know the terms and conditions to getting scholarships, if you're looking for it. not just petronas's scholarship, jpa ke mara ke, whatever la. know their terms. jangan main amik je sume nak belasah tapi bila dapat course yang doesn't suit u, you tak dapat perform. rugi. (Maria Elena, 2011)

ouchh, that hurts! -_-

"rezeki memang di tangan Tuhan, tapi usaha tu datang dari diri sendiri dong.
i sedar itu, and you should too." (Maria Elena, 2011)

"rezeki comes in many ways. you lose some, you gain some. " (Maria Elena, 2011)

"oh, preparations for interviews?

practise talking in english. you all yang hate english, ha memang cari pasal la. i takleh nak tolong in that matter." (Maria Elena, 2011)

so people, there's a lot to see, eat and digest. may these few thoughts of her (and me) will ignite the thoughts of yours. we may be different in thinking, yeah i know. but this is how i see life from my lens. so if you think i'm wrong don't blame me, blame my lens. HAHA.


to maria elena, you're my senior and i'm proud because you proved that there exists a kicking blogger out there who came from this so-called deserted university. who cares? i love utp. 


okehh, last word from me, live your life vibrantly. and remember our duty and worship goes only to Allah The Almighty. 


fin. 

and for those, who are asking me why i still pursue on the hecking engineering world, though my heart and soul are not with me,

to hope for people who dream, they hope

salam.


i know it's exam. yeah yeah. i'm wasting my time here blurbing this crap. whateverr. 
but hey, i need some space for myself. rite? on Tuesday, which is less than 48 hours to come,
i'll be facing the deadly subject : differential equation. really NOT in my blood. 
yeah, i'am an engineering student BUT with a brain that is absolutely NOT  a calculator.
i know i know people will simply say,
ouh. it's okayy. you can do it slowly even if you're not a math freak.
you can do it even if you score almost-F for pre calculus. -_-
you just can do it.
apparently, that can had every time became couldn't.
seriously, i can take hours by just looking at the fourier series question. 
and i'm a complete mass. what more, with those annoying buggy attacks. woarghhh. so many of them.
they're black, hard, and when they fell off the table, they make the "click" sound.
and they can fly! and they are small enough for our ear holes! O:

ok. the fact is, i can't really do math. but i promise, after this post i will put 150% effort on this subject.
then, i think i will continue hoping. for people who dream, they hope.
i did dream big once. i want to dream big again. so i can hop big. haha.


hey peeps, pray for my success.
pssstt..ayah kata, YNWA, you'll never walk alone. thanks dad. i know you'll always be there. 


hey, it's mama's day today. i love you mama. so muchy muchy muchhh. <3

aku rindu. sangat rindu :'(

ya Allah ya Tuhan kami,

persahabatan ini kami bina di atas jalan-Mu ya Rabb,

berkatilah setiap saat yang berlalu,

hangatkanlah ia dengan kasih sayang dan ukhwah yang tak pernah putus.

peganglah hati hati kami dengan kukuh

wahai Tuhan kami.

janganlah Engkau palingkan hati kami dari rahmat dan belas kasihan-Mu.

specially dedicated to my dearest, Amira Muluk :)

greeting to all.

seperti yang telah dinyatakan di atas,

post kali ini didedikasikan kepada sahabat paling istimewa ;

NUR AMIRA BINTI ABDUL MULUK.

Mira, if you're reading this, at first ingat nak buat masa your birthday dear.

But then, time didn't give me a chance. Hehe.

So, due to this opportunity, I once again would like to wish you :

HAPPY LAST-TEEN-YEAR BIRTHDAYYY

May Allah bless you through each day and night of your life

and may He bless us with an ever lasting friendship that couldn't never ever vanish even if time fades.

I love you so muchy muchy muchhh and yesss i do miss you a lot. 

kita tak jumpa dah sangat lamaaaaaa kannn?

takpe, sabar nehh, maybe Allah is testing us.

because He loves us. (:

i have nothing much to treasure you on your past special day.

and since Egypt is far far far away from Malaysia amnya, Tronoh khususnyaaa,

i couldn't come over and give you that special hug i'd give you

on every 28th of March. cuma mengirim rindu di angin laluu, cewahhh.

amira

amirah

remember? we dont have many pictures together, but i bet we do have a lot of memories <3

untuk sahabat yang paling aku sayangg,
semoga kau berbahagia dengan kehidupanmu
dan semoga bertambah kebahagiaanmu
dengan rahmat dan redha Ilahi
sampaikan salam anganku pada bumi Anbia
ingatkah kau
pada waktu kita sama sama bermimpi
pendakian ilmu ini
mahu kita sudahi dengan kita sama sama berdiri sisi
aku tak pernah lupa
malah aku masih bermimpi
semoga impian yang kau kendong di sana
ada sama terpahat namaku dalam ingatan
Allah menguji kita dengan jarak yang menghauskan
maka haruslah kita bayar dengan manisnya
sebuah persahabatan
aku rindukan kau sahabat, sangattt!
bilakah waktu bakal mengizinkann?
mungkin bila kering air mata rindu
kau sahabat terbaik
tak tergalang ganti
tak tergalang ganti


" Dan ingatlah nikmat Allah atas kamu, tatkala kamu bermusuh-musuhan, lalu ia jinakkan antara hati-hati kamu, lantas dengan nikmat Allah kamu jadi bersaudara... " (Ali Imran : 103)

happy birthday sayang!

salam.

haaa, hari ni 17 Mac kann? kalau ikut kalender masihi, hari ini birthday adik saya yang bongsu, Muhammad Azim bin Suhaimi yang ke 11. waaa. dah besar dahh adik kakak. tapi manja tak hilang hilang jugak ea.

to adik, happy birthday sayang. kakak sayang adik-adik kakak sangat sangat.
grow up slowly dear, because if possible i dont want to loose the memories of us living this life together.
i love you so much, that i felt your strength every time life betrayed me. and i feel your presence whenever joy wrapped me. time was running too fast that i still remember your very first day at home. you were so tiny that we kissed you so many times. you cried, you laughed. the memories remain. we played, we ran, we pretended we were swimming, we snapped photos in the car, we ate, we overjoyed. we did most of our life together. and i dont want to let that part fades away. but i know i cant stop time. you'll grow up somehow, so do i. so do abang. we'll take our own different paths. we'll be apart but shall never be parted. that's my prayer.

adindaku yang tercinta,
sukmaku yang malar,
masa berjalan lurus,
usia kita,
usia kau, aku dan dia,
makin menginjak dewasa.
itu suratan kehidupan.
yang tak bisa aku tentang.

kalau hidup punya pilihan,
kau jadi bunga,
biar aku jadi kumbangnya.
kau jadi pungguk,
biar aku jadi bulannya.
kau jadi langit,
biar aku jadi bintangnya.
sebab semuanya takkan berpisah
berjalan seiring dalam laluan kehidupan

begitulah doaku
pada setiap munajatku
agar tak terpisahkan kita
biar layar kehidupan
berkembang di lautan asing
semoga pelabuhan tempat perteduhan kita
tetap sama dan setia
pada pelabuhan cinta yang sama
pada lubuk kasih yang serupa
pada ayah dan bonda kita.

harapan kakak, semoga adik berjaya dalam dunia dan akhirat. Insya-Allah, kita sama sama jadi anak yang soleh dan solehah. ingat setiap masa, kat mama dengan ayah. susah payah dieorang besarkan kita. ingat Allah dan Rasulullah SAW selalu sebab Allah lebih dekat dari urat nadi kita sendiri, sayang. semoga adik menjadi pejuang di jalan Allah. selamat menempuhi kehidupan buat adik kakak yang tercinta !

i love you dear ! <3

lumrah atau fitrah?

greeting to all..

wahhh. lamanye tak update! sejak dah jadi student degree ni, baru rasa kesibukan hidup kat u yang sebenar. sumpah busy! takpe lah, mungkin Allah nak ajar kita menghargai masa dan mengurus kehidupan dengan labih teratur.kan?

actually, masa post ni tengah ditulis, berderet lagi kerja kat depan mata. assignment melambak lambak, kuiz test semua berderet, training, meeting, lecture, lab. sometimes, baju pun ready made je, dah tak sempat gosok! see, lack of time management. haishh. masa untuk diri sendiri bile ye? hmmm. that's one huge issue and one point for a holidayy! haha. semoga saje masa untuk Yang Maha Esa tak pernah terabai, yang sudah tetap lima kali itu semoga sempurna, yang sunat moga lebih banyak. baru hidup lebih barakahhh.

time time busy mcm ni la tiba tiba dapat semangat nak menulis kan? tapi takpela, writing is a part of my passion. my real passion. baru je tadi, kami dah pun masuk peringkat tamat silat cekak hanafi. wahhhh. sudah jauh rupanye kami bertatih. tak sangka cepat betul masa berlalu, bagai ditiup angin lalu. rasanya baru semalam sy dan partner yg setia, cik fatin filzati pergi daftar lepas martial art night. tup tup hari ni dah tamat. esok lusa, bakal jadi organizer pulak untuk MAN, insya-Allah. coming to you this june!

sebenarnya, nak bercerita la sikit. bukan cerita la jugak, more to inquest. kenapa manusia suka membandingbezakan? memang fitrahkah? atau macam mana? contohnye la, ada dua orang berkawan rapat, sorang takut kucing. sorang pantang nampak kucing, wajib kena pegang. haha. orang akan selalu compare, eh kawan kau ok je dengan kucing? asal kau tak ngam pulak ngan kucing?

masyarakat sekalian, dua orang manusia yang berbeza memiliki jasad dan jiwa yang berbeza. yang patut sama adalah tunjang akidah iaitu merujuk kepada Allah, Tuhan Yang Esa. sebab kan fitrah manusia beragama. tapi, kelebihan yang Allah bagi tu lain lain. kalau tak, personality test yang dr azizan bagi dalam kelas DE tu, semua orang pun dapat bulat je semua. kalau tak, dunia ni takkan ada Leonardo da Vincci dengan Einstein dalam sejarah. Malaysia sendiri pun ada Faisal Tehrani dan Idris Jala. jauh kot experties mereka. cuba kalau IJ yang tulis novel dan FT yang run out MAS operation. wujud ke novel yang best macam Tunggu Teduh Dulu? wujud ke first class award winning cabin hospitality?

colour pencils adik kat rumah tu, monochromatic ke? tak kan? ada 12 colours kan? agak agak pelangi kalau satu warna, menarik ke? Allah dah jadikan vast range of example untuk kita telaah dengan akal fikiran. tak payah lah nak compare compare lagi. biarlah hidup ini lebih warna warni. pelbagai. Allah dah tentukan jalur hidup setiap hamba-Nya. sama ada warna suram, atau warna terang, Dia lebih mengetahui yang terbaik untuk mereka.

if everybody wants to be at the top, then who want to be at the bottom to balance the world?
kalau semua orang pandai, dapat 4.0 flat semua, siapa yang nak merasa manisnya sebuah kegagalan supaya nanti dia boleh beri pengajaran pada orang lain. siapa?

sementelah semua ini, biarlah saya menerima perbandingan ini sebagai lumrah manusia yang sering khilaf. dan mungkin,inilah jalan hidup yang sudah sedia terbentang untuk saya. bukan mungkin lagi, pasti. hujung sana, tiada saya tahu akan kesudahannya. biarlah hanya Dia yang tahu. cukuplah saya diam dan pasrah

maafkanlah aku yang khilaf

aku lebih suka digantung harap
dari menggantung harap
tapi acap kali juga
aku rasa hati ini terluka

aku ini
insan yang khilaf
penuh dengan noda dan dosa semalam
langkah yang aku atur
dalam denai kehidupan ini
tidak semuanya jatuh terletak pada impian
ada kalanya aku gelincir jua
maka jatuh terjurai
segala harapan yang bergantungan

maafkanlah aku
aku khilaf lagi
jatuh lagi
tapi kali ini
luka itu tidak terluahkan
ingin aku rawat sendiri dalam diam
apakan daya
sakitnya tak tertanggung aku seorang

bukan aku tak cuba
bukan jua aku tak pinta
mata hatiku belum lagi buta
tapi aku sangat yakin dan percaya
Dia lebih bijak merencana
jadi aku serahkan segala galanya
hanya pada Dia Yang Maha Esa

Ya Allah, berikanlah aku kekuatan dan pertolongan biar walau segenit cuma.
hanya rahmat-Mu yang aku pinta buat jadi sandaran, hidup yang di hadapan.

oh. please die

to the weirdest feeling in my deepest heart and soul ;

please die.

versi penyedap hati

salam.

ok. kecewa. sebabbb ;

- tak tau pun dah boleh cek coursework kat e learning. tade org bgtau ponnn..
- ok. bile cek, rendah la pulakkk. yang paling unexpected ialah markah lab. haishhh.

arrrggghhh. dah la exam hari tu macam ape je! and yet cgpa is very crucial. *sighhh*



hmmmm. so let by gone be by gone. nothing can be changed ady, rite? pray and hope. pray and hope. pray and hope.

O Allah, walk me through this hardship.


p/s : Stand up, chin up, and smile!

random scrap

salam.

Alhamdulillah, segala puji bagi Allah, walaupun dengan hujan lebat dan ribut di Terengganu, dapat jugak saya merasa kehangatan rumah. after like 8 hours journey. fuhhhh! upon reaching home, terus mengerekot dalam comfoter. sejukk! brrr. kesan kesan tangisan langit masih jelas di mana mana di KT. kuot benor hujan nye. dalam duk tahan sejuk tu ape lagi, memang konfem terlelap. bus-lag! travelling alone, for the very first time from UTPet to KT, was very tiring. with no one to talk to, and MP3 player yang out of battery, all i have was keindahan ciptaan Tuhan untuk menjamu mata. Subhanallah. cantik! :)

actually, despite dengan suhu yang menurun, i like KT better this way. nyaman sangat. dan angin yang bertiup sangat sangat la menyegarkan. dan kadang kadang ehemmm.. mendodoikan! nti kalau ayah bwk gi jalan jalan lagi, i'll try to snap a few pictures. heeee.

today is like the second day at home. hmmm. everything went well except for a few things; which for me was silly but inexcusable. haha. semuanye gara gara ajl semalam. cehhh. nak salahkan benda lain pulak. tapi takpela, time is the best healer, rite? hopefully it wil not take until two weeks. hmmm. sejak balik rumah, dah dua hari breakfast kat luar which is a very bonus treat sbb both mama and ayah are working. macam pagi tadi, sebab nak renew ic so ikut la ayah pergi kerja dan kebetulan pulak ayah ada weekly gathering kat bangunan wisma. oh, just great! tak de la kene tinggal sorang sorang. lepas tu just head back home. haaa, otw balik tu ayah tanya ; "nak makan apa apa tak?" actually nakkk. tapiii, not in the mood. heeee. rugi rugi. haha.

ok. now i want to blurb out a few pieces of yesterday. i still couldn't manage to mend my biological clock. tidur awal malam, bangun tengah malam, pastu tak tidur tidur dah! just like exam week hari tuh. parah nih! nasib la ada bola and ajl. so takde la tidur awal. kire dah boleh tidur normal balik la. good good.

so pagi tuh i get to send both my lil bros to school. 6.30 i'm more than ready untuk hantar zaim kat depan gate rumah. nak tengok bas pok mi punye pasal! haha. finally, dapat jugak tgk. dok beruboh! bas yang sama since last 5 years. cume pok mi skang pakai lampu putih. dulu lampu kuning. heee.pastu hantar azim pulak pergi SS1. my old school as well. jarak dari rumah 5 minit je, tapi mak aihhh jam giler! pastu i get my lucky treat; ayah ngan mama belanja nasi kerabu ayam bakar for breakfast. heaven! haha. pastu balik rumah, gossip sket dengan nenek terchenta, haha. a lot of catching up to do with her. :) then, tak mau la kecikkan hati die, so dengan rela hatinya jadi co-chef hari ni! haha. dah lama tak masuk dapur kottt.

lepas tu ingat nak try la tgk nona. lama dah tak tengok. dah la ada host baru, vee. tapi kannn, sorry to say, tak bestt la. best lagi masa nurul syuhada ngan fiza dulu. hmmmm. lepas tu dah boring, mcm biasa la ambik *eheemm* the so-called "P O W E R N A P". haha. tiara and fatin knows better about my very efficient power nap. in the eve, pergi ambik azim kat sekolah. jalan kaki! wahhh. kurussss laaa! =.=" ok. jalan kaki satu hal, pastu nak pusing satu sekolah cari dia sorg lagi. this is SKSS1 we are talking about. besar kot! ouh, pastu jumpe je adik, tengok die tengah makan aiskrim. fuhhhh. selamat dari kene pau. haha. bagus bagus. save duit. ehh cop! belum selamat lagi. lepas cross jalan je, ; "kakak kite tengok air nyior kat kedai depan tuh, bole? ". i just made the " =.=' " expression on my face. ceyhhh. business-minded punye adik. tapi, NASIB BAIK kedai itu TUTUP. hahaha. booo!

nevertheless, budak boyot tu bawak balik surat pelantikan pengawas sekolah. bapak ahhh. bukan main happy sampai mintak ayah belanja. tapi ; permohonan anda tidak dilayan! BOOO! dengan selambanye, die kata ; "e'eleh, kakak dulu SS1 librarian JER. " . amboooooooiii. lawan tauke nampak! ceit. haha. i don't give a damn la bro, what i look upon is that you've made mama and ayah proud and i shall be proud too. adik kakak kannn. wahaha. so, harap harap ada la baju prefect yang ada size mu, dik. ngeh3.

semua tu made my days. for sure, life is way better and busier at home. don't mind coz i love it. seriously. ;)

p/s : dah start addict kat TV dah. adoooiihh. House, Chuck! <3

one step closer - engineering futures

salam.

wahhhh. saat paling bahagia bile chief invigilators announced ; ok, you may leave the hall now. waktu die cakap ok je, sy terus bgn. haha. stationery dh siap kemas, jaket dh lipat elok elok. ape lagi? despite duk 3rd row from front, tak malu dah. bangkit je trus. lega punya pasal. sumpah release gile rase.

officially, lebih kurang pukul 5.40 ptg td, tamatlah sudah riwayat zaman foundation di Universiti Teknologi Petronas yg terchenta. Alhamdulillah. Selepas semua jerih perih, berakhir jugak zaman kejatuhan ni. In total, lagi banyak air mata dari suka, lagi banyak tekanan dari leisure. ye la, nama pun study kan. hopefully, tak repeat. tak mauuuu. susah owh belajar engineering. sometimes, it's quite hard to believe i surived. Alhamdulillah, syukur sekali lagi.

so,

i'm now one step closer to my planned future. tapi itu la, sebagai hamba-Nya, kita hny mampu merancang, yg menentukan tetap Allah Yang Maha Esa. perjalanan yg terdampar kat depan, masih la tersangat panjang. i couldnt even figure out the end from here..

hmmm. future planning? study study study. ade scholar ke tak ke. nak study jugak. dah dunia skrg kan MEMENTINGKAN cgpa. tak gitu? sy nak jadik chemical engineer yg berjaya dan berguna. atau setidak tidaknya, sy nak graduate with Bachelor of Engineering (Honours) Chemical. :)) mama dgn ayah dh byk berkorban bersusah payah. so it's time to give back to them walaupun nilai sebenar pengorbanan mereka tak mampu dibalas balik biar smpi hujung nyawa sekalipun.

biar sejak kecik sy tak pernah bayang pun, i will opt for engineering, but it's okayyy. i'm already half way to grab the stars. am i? haha. org melayu kata; alang alang menyeluk pekasam, biar sampai ke pangkal lengan. untuk kawan kawan kat utipet nih; sama sama kita MAS, sama sama kite grad ea! sayang korang semua ketat ketat.

picture from : flickr.com

jadi, jom la kite enjoy, relax sket 2 minggu ni;

sebelum, kite jumpe balik dengan ORGANIC CHEMISTRY !

ouh. we might need this, folks ;

moral of the stories ; next time in planning the future, do what your heart tells you to. but if it's too late, maybe your heart is some kinda mute or maybe you try to pretend deaf, then start believing in what you're doing sebab, there can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do.


ok amirah! enough with random scrap mumblingggss. packing jom! ahaaa. 


p/s : everybody wants to be like him. so do i. :)

picture taken from :  muhammadassad.com

.

can we pretend that airplane in the night sky like a shooting star?

salam.

hari dah masuk 4 hb jan. ye ye saye tahu. sy belum habis final. haha. tapi kan, mmg sgt irresistible untuk tidak gatal tangan post kat sini. ptg tadi, berakhirlah sudah paper physics two. 1 down , 2 more to go. esok dan luse. lepas tu? balik! hooyeahh! macam mana paper td? macam mana nak kate ek? ok la. bak kata tirah kat meja belakang ; 50 - 50. so, memandangkan final sem ni cuma ada 3 subjek, kite kene la skor at least A- utk EACH subject, baru boleh dpt DL. hmmmm. which, in my very complicated and haunted case, DL adalah sgt CRUTIAL. SANGAT.

ok. move on, babe! fuhhh..tajuk post kali ni,is my latest lovable addiction ; *airplane (bob ft hayley william)*
can we pretend that airplane in the night sky like a shooting star?
COZ I COULD REALLY USE A WISH RITE NOW, A WISH RITE NOW. got it? ahaaa. ;)

kemarin, sesi persekolahan start balik utk sesi 2011. wahhh. it has been 2 years! rindu la nak pakai baju sk lagi. naik bas pok mi pukul 6.30 (byk kenangan doee). smpi sk 6.45; sambung tido. haha. takde lah! buat homework la, pe lagi! kalau hari ahad ; mesti busy lari lari susun kerusi utk ASSembly. iring pengetua. wahhhh. rinduuuu. oh, cik adia nadilla, if you are reading this, i hope you miss the moment kite knock knock bilik PUAN HAJAH AZIZAH pagi ahad dulu dulu, like i do. :)

haaaa. ckp pasal Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Sultan Sulaiman ni kan... there's something i would like to share ;

smalam masa tgh fb walking, jumpe la kat profile sir, gambar sir dgn faizal muhamad! gambar kat SS! depan lab chemistry kat blok form 6 oh! ok ok. rilek. baca caption baca caption!

" bangge gak pabila 4 harimau Malaya adalah ex-sulaimanians... "

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! so damn proud! haha. my seniors are nation wide, world wide! *sorry la. excited nih! ahaaa* extending from YDP Agong Sultan Mizan Zainal Abidin sampai national football player. weeee. :) SS memang dikenali sebab kehebatan bola sepak. one of the BIGGEST factor SS dapat CLUSTER school.

zaman kegemilangan bola sepak, esp zaman pengetua Tn Hj Daud , complete dgn dedicated coaches ; Cg Rahimi, Cg Razali, Cg Azhari, Cg Mazlan.cayalah SS ! that's why sy sgt support adk sy utk join. cume, kene pandai pandai bahagi masa. budak bola SS jarang ada kat sk!

pastu try la cari sape lagi 3 org yg ex-SS nih? hmmm. tdk dpt dipastikan la pulak.
tapi, as far as my extended knowledge, player Terengganu yang main utk HARIMAU MUDA;
scorer - Ashaari Samsuddin (orang bukit payung boh! ahaaa ;D )
defender - Mohd Muslim bin Ahmad
keeper - Sharbinee Allwee Ramli (bkn main GK. main was Khairul Fahmi Che Mat from Kelantan).
lagi sorg, striker - Izzaq Faris Ramlan (from Kemaman).

i'm not sure if they were all from SS. but anyway, GOOD JOB Malaysia. so damn proud of you!
semoga kemenangan kali ni, open a wider prospect for Malaysian football to expand and perform better. tak boleh la nak capai tahap EPL, La Liga atau Bundes Liga terus. tapi, hopefully, we can stand proud in the class of our own pada mata dunia. MALAYSIA BOLEH ! ;)

here's the pic from Sir KZ's profile.

bye! :)

aiseh. lupa. ayah saya pun senior saya jugak! ahaaa. ;)
SMKSS - tradisi kekal abadiii

penggulungan 2010

salam.

hari ini tarikh kat kalendar dah jadi 1/1/11 (walaupun sy blm beli kalender baru!). so selamat selamat tahun baru untuk semua. actually post kali ini, nak sum up tahun 2010. last analysis kot. hmmmm...

2010 - awalnya, menjangkakan tahun ni sebagai tahun yg baik. sebab nye, tahun permulaan hidup kat universiti. walaupun engineering bukanlah my first choice, tapi sy tetap tak berganjak dari uni terchenta ini. permulaan hdup kat sini sgtlah susah. homesick, toksah cerita la. meleleh leleh. tapi lagi susah nak handle subjek subjek yang kene belajar. sy ni bukanlah math-minded. jauh skali nak jatuh cinta kat subjek kira kira tu. tapi, takdir mengatakan sy di sini, dan tetap di sini, sampai saat ni saya tengah berdebar debar menghitung detik utk final exam, final semester. kadang kadang sy tak tahu, patut ke sy lawan takdir tu, atau pun just let it flows thru my life. however, life went as usual. sy baru sedar saya sgt suke basuh baju. haha. dan sebab sy suke wangi wangian, saya sgt cenderung utk tuang softener byk byk. bile fikir fikir balik, patut la over spent kat household! spnjg 2010, dah 2, 3 kali laptop sy crashed. dah 2 kali jam sy rosak smpi la mama ngan ayah beli jam yg betul betul jam hari tu.  2010 jgk merupakan tahun saya beli beg paling banyak! ok. enough with the nonsense trivia. tahun ni saya dapat 2 bestfriends baru ; FATIN FILZATI n HANI TIARA. i will never knew how we got hooked up, tapi sy sayang sangat deorg and never i want to leave them. saranghae <3 !

study life? not good. 2010 merupakan antara study year yg paling teruk spnjg saya darjah satu smpi la skrg. performance jatuh merudum, berguling guling dan terhentak! walaupun terikat dgn scholar, tapi igauan tak lepas cgpa setiap hari menghantui benak fikiran ni. 3.4 nampak mcm sikit. tapi bagi org mcm sy, who really "fonds"  engineering, itu adalah seperti mengapai bintang di langit dgn galah mempelam. what more, gpa utk first and second sem are both bullshits! so, apa yg saya doa dan harap setiap detik, semoga encik jaypieeayy baik hati nak sambung scholarship saya mse ug nanti. kesian la encik kat parents sayee. pleaseee. study life 2010 jugak dah menyaksikan beberapa kali sy jadi zombie - tak tidur siapkan ASSignment, study, stay up. but still, tak jugak score! havent yet found the key access to success, here in utp. *sigh* so, waktu post ni ditulis, saya tgh break dari struggle dgn chem. give off fb lps wish birthday ayah. ayah, sorry, kakak tak dapat nak jadik mcm yg ayah harapkan. sorryyy.

ok what next? emmm. love life? naaaaaaaa. i'm still the old me, folks. tanak terlibat dgn cinta cinta ni. heeeeeee.  crush? cursed. haha. ;P

roommate sy faridah hanim. dah lebih kurang setahun la roommate dgn die ni. tahun dpn? mmm. tak lagi la nampaknye. jadi, kirenye die berhak la ni dpt privilege dlm post ni.
cik farid, mu mmg seorg roommate yg baik. mu suke masok. so, kekgi mesti mu jadi super mama yg hebakk. teruskan dgn wawasan mu. jadi anak melayu yg outsatanding. org boleh nmpk mu akan berjaya in few years ahead. bangga ah ngan mu! legasi SS tinggal kite 2 je la op? kekgi kalau jalan kat pocket D oa, jgn dok tegur org pulok. belanja paprika ke. haha. rindu ah nk tido sejid ngan mu lagi. sorry r, org mmg gini. boring. sorry mu terpakse stuck ngan gua. hehe. peace. thanks sbb bagi pinjam toshy mu time laptop org crashed. terima kasih ah utk segala galenye. semua juicy gossip mu tuh. segala jenis scandal and lovematch mu. org dok lupe nye! pastu kan dday, mu bawak kerete best. despite whatever happen masa kite g ipoh hari tu, mu bawak kereta still best. pasal scholar, org percaye ade something better utk mu in future. bile n ape, tu bukan bwh pengetahuan org. ho, pastu kekgi kot kot la mu rindu nak balik naik bas, kabo ah. boleh balik skali even mu turun kat besut pun. mu budok bijok. so, jgn cemarkan kebijaksanaan mu tu, dgn mende mende yg dok sepatutnye. overall, org boleh kate, mu memang calon menantu yang baik! ahaaa. ;)

obstacle paling susah utk 2010 : untuk dpatkan scholar. kdg2, straight a pun tak janjikn sebuah scholarship. mgkn ada yg lebih prefer background family and study place kot. corruption? i dunno.. dan bile dh dpt scholar, susah pulak nak mantain cgpa die. (tak bersyukur betul!)

paling best 2010 : paling takde la. yg best sikit sebab result spm straight a. tu je la kot.

natijahnye, 2010 adalah tahun yg baik, tapi tak cukup baik untk saya kata tahun yg hebat. halangan yg dtg tu average tp berat owh. whatever it is, sy syg family sya, kawan kawan sy, cg cg. tahun ni, buat sy lebih dekat dgn Dia. :)

terima kasih 2010. tapi sy harap tak jumpe awk lagi. sorry.